he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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