Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
