she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
