Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
