took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
