I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
