You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
