this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
