they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
