i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
