great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
