so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
