Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
