i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
