Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
