Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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