I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
40s are totally the cure
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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