You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
