i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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