She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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