You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
