Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
