Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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