We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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