I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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