oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
