Just fell off a train. Bad.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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