I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
