I think I just saw someone hide a body.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
