i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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