i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
