yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
