I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
No stitches, just platelets and will power
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
