You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
