Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
