in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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