They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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