Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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