in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i already hear my dad disowning me
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
