Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
