Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Randomize
