So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
i now understand why vodka
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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