i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
