i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
