Michael Bay diarrhea
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
