why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
