I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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