TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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