He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
