wrigley field is MILF paradise
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
