You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
