I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
