Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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